hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

i am bored and tiired
but yet i managed to write a post
i was cut open today by my 1 yr old nephew..he got me good on the cheek it hurt once he did it but after, not at all but it bled..weird eh?


anyways - i am learning BOTH japanese and korean, i began japanese first then i picked up korean due to music..so japanese because of anime and korean because of music:) sweet huh?
but my japanese skills arent as good anymore because i fail to practice, and my korean skills arent any good becasue ITS FREAKIN HARD!! i know basic words but the writing has me hung and the grammar has me drowned...it has murdered me twice!!
some say japanese is easy for spanish speaker due to the fact that we share a few words, then some say korean is easy for spanish speaker due to the fact that, un-like japanese, koreans pronounce the R's like we do but in my opinion, korean is harder for spanish speakers and japanese is only easy because of the shared words...both difficult languages

anywho - i'm changing the subject completly:)

many people belive that you need friends (or sources) in order to lead a happy life...if that's the case then i am leading no life...i make friends but for some reason they leave in some form..move away, decide to hate me, or just cut the cords for an unknown reason...i know i have many flaws and have moments where even i dont like myself...but having those flaws, insecurities and low-self-esteem doesent mean i'm a bad person, i'm sweet and understanding, i'm fun to be around
yeah i am quiet but once you get to know me and i you, i am very talkative
in school alot of people did the 'hate behind one's back" thing to me, with me giving them no reason...i only shot back twice, once in middle school and once in high school, but i was never given the oppertunity to solve it, which on my end was good enough..but i do get people that dont like me, many reasons include that i dont dress like a girl, i dont act like a girl and i make better friends with guys then i do girls....they see me as a target but they never say it to my face
the quiet ones are the ones you gotta keep an eye on...in school thats what i was..quiet only spoke to a handful of people..i sat in class quiet writing in my notebook..and yet they had the cojones to begin a battle...they escaped defeat due to the fact that i was placed in a home but like i said before, it was good on my end

ok...i went to a home right? i did almost 3 months in a detention center and over a year in the actual home...at first i didnt like the detention center, i never spoke up until the last month i was there...i got to know people by observing, i mean come on such a long period of time looking at the smae faces i knew more than they knew of themselves
then the home...i was quiet my first 2 weeks, it would of been longer but, once again i was attacked..but this time racially (not sure if that's a word but i used it)...when it comes to rasism, i take it seriously, maybe a tad bit too much..but she decided to call me a spic, say puerto ricans are dirty our woman are sluts our men are only good for low paid jobs etc....she even mentioned rasist remarks about ALL hispanics...this girl claimed she was half dominican, now to my knolage if you are half asian and half american..you can say you're asian american (key word is asian) half dominican and half white....dominican is hispanic and is in there..so it set me off....2 weeks of nothing but silence from me, this girl thought she was better than me only because she had white in her blood..i like just about anyone, but those that are rasist and think their better than anyone else...you can keep walking......i got in her face but then the staff came in and did absolutly na da for her remarks to me..that pissed me off even more, i had urges to punch the staff that was in my face, and the chick.....but instead i took a walk having a colored staff talk to me....anyways...i've had my share of trouble making in the home....but i also had points where i was a victim, that i was critisized, and i had my share of happy and sad moments...for me that place holds many memories there for me..i met wonderful people, i learned about myself more, i learned ways of coping etc....even though all but 1 person i was in there with or met there has cut the cords....i still would give anything to reunite with them, even the ones i couldnt stand

there i go..i put in a book!! sorry for making you read soo much

gotta go occupy my time:) some more!

~ Aida

BEST OF POETRY # 2

"Forgiven"

chances have been given to me
but yet i didn't follow along
felt that i let you down
although i know i was wrong

faith and you have kept me alive
i lost you and I'm loosing faith now
i apologize for my actions
I'm sorry rejecting you bow

you haven't spoke to me
though i wish you will
cant help but to cry
because i live like this still

often i get upset with how life has treated me
but the temptations were always driven
you showed me your smile
now i know I've been forgiven

NUMERO DOS!!

~Aida!!!!!!!!!!!!